because at 33 years old , compared to a lot , i dont have hardly any material possessions , but my small flat is starting to look ” cluttered ” because of the material possessions i do have .
mainly just ; an internet custom built computer that i had built for me in 2005 – a big crt old type television that i got from a charity shop , but it has a crappy picture – an old playstation 2 , a few games – about 20 decent music cds – a few old paperback novels and a couple of old hard backs.
its mainly plastic bags and cardboard boxes that clutter my flat, because i lack the furniture to store things in.
i dont have a wardrobe or cabinets or chest of drawers , so my cds , socks , few underwear, hats , bits and pieces etc are stored here and there in boxes and bags.
the clutter is quite depressing really . i cannot afford wardrobes etc either because i only live on benefits.
but neither do i want the flat that i live in to be too cluttered full of stuff and possessions , because say if i have to or want to move eventually ? – and they do say its best to travel light ?
also, i if i pass over , i dont want to leave to much information about me for anyone to gain access to or abuse , like diarys or notepads , when your time is up, i think its a good idea to destroy things like this or burn them ?
its hard because i have an obsessional disorder and paranoia that make me ”obsess” that i need material items in order to be happy , and that , items have to be perfect , so if a tiny bit of stitching is loose on an item of clothing – im compelled to buy a replacement of the same clothing until i buy a perfect item , without any flaws .
is there a way to look at it so i dont feel obsessed that items i buy have to be flawless & perfect ?
but neither do i want a lot of material items because i will just feel bogged down and disorganised – i find it difficult just to keep the flat i live in tidy , at the moment its very messy and it takes my 60 year old mother to visit me and tidy my flat for me .
so having more possessions / material items will just make it worse . i only live in a small flat.
in a small council estate , i eventually want to move ,but travel light , but at the same time are obsessed with buying more material items in order ” to be happy ” so what will i do ?